Chapter 182: The Burden Of Your Soul- A camel

A saudi arabian adage compared our soul to a camel because the soul travels at the pace of a camel. As we go through life at the rapid pace, running rat races, being too caught up in our present to remember the past, the soul is left behind.

Like a ship, it rocks with the inexorable waves, its endurace is inexhaustible as it seeks to reunite itself with our body. We move too fast up till the point that when the soul manages to catch up, it leaves such an unwanted impact on us, we break down.

Has your soul caught up with you yet?

/

Everything that I’ve felt doesn’t seem to resurface in whatever I am experiencing now. Why? The first time is the most magical as you are filled with lofty ambitions, promises and constant dreaming about love.

The second time is not magical. The second time is what follows the first. As your ideals, your way of thinking, your actions towards someone is shaped by your first, you learn from mistakes, you learn mostly from the first scar and that finds itself in your second.

As we lay crying with the lights off (yes, you go oh, what a typical amirul thing to do) I could not see your tears. You could not see mine. But somehow your hands found my eyes perfecly to wipe my tears away, and my hands found your eyes to wipe yours away. It was as if we knew each other’s face well to realize it even in the dark.

I poured myself out. What state is our body?

Solid because of our muscle?

Liquid because of our blood, sweat and tears?

or Gas because we are floating about in life waiting to go through the cyclical states?

We were liquid last night, as there were invisible tears, divisible bodies, but indispensable love for the both of us. All I could do and all you could do was to cry. yesterday was the night we needed, yesterday was the night everybody needs at one point of their life.

The body travels as fast as our legs carry us.
The soul travels at the pace of the camel.
And yet our heart is the one that is slower and faster at the same time.

 

 

i love yous are morbid declarations. i love you is love.