Chapter 95: Racism does exist

Even though Singapore talks about racial harmony and a cohesive society, it is, afterall, a general sweeping statement because exceptions exist, even for myself.

This teacher doesn’t even bother acknowledging our presence, not to look at us, moves past us, doesn’t call us to answer, ignores us…you know for once, i know what it felt to marginalised. How it felt to be “called” stupid implicitly.

Is it because we’re Malay? Is it because the common perception that we’re dumber than our counterparts that has perforated your lopsided brain? Is it because you think that straightaway, when you want a tutorial, you assume we don’t do it? I know the rest don’t feel as much as I do about this but I do.

You know for once, I’m putting myself rightly in the place of my race, my religion and my morals. I used to sit on the bus alone, looking at the Malay boys and girls and think…Oh, so lost they are, so lost they are without any sense of urgency, little education, rabbits in dark skinned suits.

And I realise that’s what people might say when they look at me. That look of distaste…even disgust. The nuances of a stranger’s gaze tell everything about his (dis)approval of you.

Mum’s colleague on seeing brothers and I: Oh! I’ve never seen Malay boys so clean cut!

Now, my family is by nature this bloody cynical family. So sensitive, so criticizing of everything but when you read that…you think…compliment! When I read it, I think insult.

What, so that means that the other Malay boys are just dumped under one category of being unclean? Though, yes Mats and Minahs seem to be infesting this country, there are Malay kids who have the broader sense to education.

Perceptions about Malays are so hard to change, and I will take time to change it, if I can.

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GP sucks balls too because all we are doing now is just like english. Essay Outline, Format, Points. Essay Outline, Format, Points. Essay Outline, Format, Points.

Fuck, GP is not suppose to be about that. Like what Irsyad said, “At least I knew what it was like to discuss in GP, but you never had the chance…”

1. TK never gives the chance for you to discuss anything. Only question questions.

2. Any respect I have for GP is going down the drain.

GP is suppose to be about discussion. D-I-S-S-C-U-S-I-O-N. I’m giving her till the end of the month before I’m complaining to the G.O about the teacher.

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Whartx a bat dae.

P.S. If Jesus Christ is treated as a divinity, a God. How can there be God above him? Does this go against the idea of monotheism?