Chapter Fifty-Two: Retrospect

Everything I view now is in retrospect. I am looking back at what has gone wrong, what others have done right that I have failed to do, and why I am where I am today.

Why is it that she gets to leave before I do? Why is it that she gets a better mark than I do?

You want to be happy for someone for working hard, you want to believe that they have, but at the same time you have the guilty foreboding of wishing that you could have done better. It feels fine if you have done your best and have reached what you are capable of, but it feels terrible when you know you’re capable of doing better.

You know you could have worked as hard or harder than the person sitting next to you, you could have done without laughing or mocking them, but now it is too late. What is printed by a computer on a small piece of paper will then be immortalised in a laminated certificate that you can choose to display proudly or hide it in shame.

I could have done better but…I guess I’m puh-ree-tee much satisfied enough for me to wallow in self-pity. I’m also glad that the school has been pushed up to a Band 2, L1r5 of 11.4 and whatever outrageous statistics there are.

TK is amazing huh. This boy with 233 got 9. HAHAHAHHAHAHA, IN YOUR FACE MOE.