Chapter Fourteen: All I need is a teabag and a phone

What is particularly appealing about someone is something very hard to explain. You might be the most insanely beautiful girl but for what it’s worth, it accounts for nothing if all you ever put out is something that puts people off, or in my case myself off.

Oh, how pictures really do tell lies about how a person really looks and what a person is inside. Seeing her pictures and seeing her were two totally different matters, it was to the extent of disappointment but now, it’s been aggravated.

Aye, woman are so different. What you hear about the person, what is right in front of you, and what you feel about someone are polar opposites.

How saddening such a thought is.

I had a dream last night and kept waking up in the middle of the night because it involved two friends (both girls) of mine dying and yet another life-learning journey in my sleep. Yes, how melodramatic but so true.

The first I remember started off with some shopping and then skipping to some barbeque and that person being upset that my brother couldn’t come and she started crying and next thing I know while she was storming out of the house in anger onto the road, all I heard were screeches of tires against the tar.

The second was about the person I had just finished talking to before I slept. I remember being in the taxi and that person was with a guy I was sitting beside them looking out and she asked if I was fine, I said no. And then she held my hand and told me not to worry.

As soon as we got out of the taxi, the guy started punching me. All I could remember was the against my face and her standing by trying to make him stop (bear with the drama). And then he lashed out, and hit her and the last scene before I forced myself to wake up was the image of her lying on the ground, unconscious and body limp.The third was about Ms Evelyn Koh (now, now don’t be freaked out). Throughout the dream, through some inexplicable and magical way I was “telling” myself that it was a dream, it was a dream but it felt real enough. It started off with a dinner and as usual she looked great I remember in turquoise green dress and her hair was black with some brown highlights.

Anyway, through the dinner we started talking about how school was, and I vividly remember asking her (as if I would get to ask her ever) “so, how has life been?”

She started explaining details which I can’t remember. After dinner was a walk in some beautiful garden and talking about life and at one point geography. The last image before I stirred was of her smiling.

When I woke up, the dream instantly reminded me of one I had of Ms Lim in the taxi when we started talking about life as well. But dreams will always remain dreams, a certain lucky someone has dreamless sleeps which is good in a way but sleeping must be so empty.

Those earlier two were particular nightmares.

Death doesn’t come into your dreams easily, I guess I was thinking too much.